The vision I have isn’t truly timeless, although I admit that at times it can feel that way. It is hard to comprehend hundreds of years of a way of being that felt comfortable, natural, and correct becoming dismantled. Do I imagine that there was not conflict, war or dysfunction? No, I do not. The matter of these things being part of the life lived by those who came before me matter very little in my responsibility of honoring them. Life is meant to have challenges. Life is meant to have sacrifice.
I do wonder though, at what point my many West African ancestors came to realize just how much of a threat and destroyer colonization would become to their indigenous ways of being. I wonder if to them it started in a similar fashion as some of the difficulties we face today. For example, the fentanyl crisis. Is colonization something that they had knowledge of but felt it was weak compared to their rich culture which was the foundation they stood upon for centuries? Did they underestimate the fulfillment of greed, ego and status brought to those who would willingly serve as the pushers of this new drug? Did they not realize that colonization would satisfy the hunger of the cruel and greedy beast known as the Trans-Atlantic Slave Trade?
I wonder how many tears were shed by those left behind. I wonder about the prayers of hope that were made. I wonder because those tears and those prayers are what fuel my current ambition and drive to turn away from the influences of colonial thought and behavior that was planted through several forms and live in me. Fame and notoriety are not symbols of success for me. Money, degrees and political influence do not motivate me. I do not write this to say that these things are not of importance or relevance in my life. I’m pointing out that they are not the measure of success for me nor the force that drives or motivates me to continue living the best life possible in my time on this earth through the guidance of Ifa/ Orisa spiritual path. It is the tears and prayers of those left behind while their children were stolen, never to be seen again in their lifetime. It is the tears and prayers of those who were chained to the belly of ships for months, stripped of their human right to be, yet they hung on to whatever life they had. It is the tears and prayers of those who were forced into silence, burying all they knew, being left to survive off the poisoned fruit of their enslavers. It is the tears and prayers of hope from those who existed in the time of freedom and did the ebo (sacrifice) for me to remember and return.
Having knowledge that I am here living and breathing because someone found moments of joy in the face of deep sorrow. Someone chose to live and find a way to thrive in the face of brutality. I owe it to them, not only to exist but to live in joy. I owe it to them to walk in the light of wisdom. I owe it to them to right the wrongs and injustices inflicted by living a healthy and clean life. I owe it to them to salvage the ruins of our world and honor the love that has sustained us. I owe it to them to turn away from ignorance and violence. I once read something that said “I am my ancestor’s wildest dreams.” I wondered if that was true for me, because it isn’t enough to merely exist in order to be their wildest dream. We owe it to them to step up, honor, uplift, restore and return what was stolen through colonization.
Ifayinka 