People who we love very deeply, and who love us as well; people who we are happy to share life with, transition from this earth.
We don’t always get to say goodbye. It leaves some of us to sleep alone in beds we have shared. It leaves some of us to never hear the voice that encouraged us the most. It leaves some of us to extinguish hopes of seeing the young become old. It leaves some of us feeling abandoned and alone. Most of the time, we are able to push on, and push forward, even though it hurts tremendously. For some of us, it teaches us to appreciate life and its precious moments. We understand that in most cases, if the choice were given to stay behind with us, and enjoy sharing one last hug, one last phone call, one more meal, cup of tea, walk in the park, drive down our favorite country road, kiss goodnight, long afternoon conversation, or applaud of our accomplishments, our loved ones would.
So I have asked myself, why is it that we have such a hard time letting go of the people who are living and breathing but choose to say goodbye to us? While I feel that it is a privilege that people allow us into their intimate circle of being. I also believe that it is gracious to respect their choice to shut us out. If true love and connection is what binds us to them, then isn’t it fair to say that even if our last moment spent with them has come and gone, we can still carry love and goodwill for them inside of our hearts, and move on?
I used to struggle with this. Sometimes, I didn’t want to move on, and felt hurt that I was shut out. I held onto people who I should have let go of. I justified this. I felt since I lost people through natural death, it was important to hold onto everyone I love, regardless of how they treat me, or truly felt about me. I felt that I owed it to myself to hold tightly to those who are still here, no matter what.
One of the blessings of understanding, that has been granted to me through the transitioning of many close loved ones, and growth in my trust in the way of Ifa, my Ori, my Egbe, and Orisa is that; when I pray and ask for the things and people that are meant to be a presence in my life to draw closer to me, and for those that are not to be removed far from me, this is my prayer in action. I am granted peace with what is. I can no longer be harmed emotionally by false expectations. I find appreciation in knowing that who is with me, is exactly who is supposed to be. It took me a while to become free from the guilt and expectations that shackled me to connections that faded away. May we remain grateful for all true relationships and respect their time and place in our lives. Ase
Ifayinka 